"Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man that had been blind since birth. His disciples asked, 'Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?' Jesus said, 'You're asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. We need to be energetically at work for the One who sent me here, working while the sun shines.' "
~John 9:1-4~
I've been reading through John Chapter 9 this week and each time I went back to it, the same verse leapt off of the page, yet I waited and wondered if I should really share what was going through my mind in such an open forum. But I am going to share it because as much as I’d like everyone else to think I have it more together than I really do, the truth is that I am a broken person with lots of baggage that is desperately needing the Savior to unpack some of those bags and throw them out and replace them with His grace, acceptance, and love, which is a much lighter load. That’s been part of my journey over the last six months…going back to some of the deep wounds and hurts that I have somehow managed to bury and avoid, some of them since childhood. Obviously, I’m not the only one in either that position or in the middle of that process and neither are any of you if you’re relating to what I’m talking about.
For myself, a lot of my baggage comes at the hands of dysfunctional family dynamics that have been passed down over generations. There have been times when I look at my own situation within my family (husband and kids) and see a variety of mistakes and patterns that I have continued to repeat that have been detrimental to them and I just shake my head and wonder, what was I thinking? I swore I would never do that to my kids or I promised I would never treat my husband that way…but then, here I am right in the middle of that deep, dark pit, with little idea how to get out of it or how to undo the damage that’s already been done. Then it seems that I find myself getting angry and wondering how such dysfunctional behaviors (also known as sin) could just keep repeating themselves over and over, generation after generation, when each one is so wounded by them. Why didn’t someone stop it? I sometimes want someone to blame for my “lot” in life…but who? My parents? My grandparents? Generations further back? Whose fault is it?
I think that is somewhat the line of thinking from the disciples in verse 2, when they come upon the man who was blind since birth. They naturally assumed that his “lot” in life was a result of sin and was a punishment. But I love what Jesus said to him and it’s tweaked my perspective on my own situation.
Jesus said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. We need to be energetically at work for the One who sent me here, working while the sun shines.”
I love the NIV version of verse 3…
”…this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."
I can’t change what has happened in the past, but blaming others isn’t going to change it either. However, I can shift my focus towards where God is working, and I can choose to take ownership of my own actions, behaviors, and thought processes and allow Him to work in the midst of that as He brings healing, reconciliation, and restoration. Heaven certainly knows that my attempts at avoidance and “stuffing” things hasn’t helped to break the patterns of captivity…but I can and am becoming free of those chains as I’m willing to humble myself and live transparently in my relationship with Him. He already knows everything about me anyways, so when you think about it, it’s kind of a ridiculous game of hide and go seek that we play with God, who never loses sight of us and knows what we will do before we even do it.
