Pleasing Others

Does anyone else in this forum tend to be a “people pleaser” or battle seeking the approval of others? Anyone tried to be the “good Christian” and make sure they did all the proper things, attend every service, make sure we were super involved in ministry, perhaps in an effort to impress God or to seek His approval?

My hand is raised HIGH on all 3 of those questions. But I love what Galatians 2:21 says,

“Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.”

“An abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God” WOW!! Isn’t that what we’re really seeking? Acceptance, grace, and freedom that is unconditional? Definitely an area that I’ve been working on for a while and even in my small victories so far, the change and the depth of my relationship with God has far exceeded anything that I received from trying to impress others.

Verse 20 says,

“It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me.” 

There is such freedom in that! This is something that I’m continually learning to embrace in a practical way. I grew up in a “performance-driven” environment where I learned very early in my life that my self-worth and value were directly tied to what I did and how well I did it. I spent so many years trying to earn the approval of others and that most definitely spilled over into my relationship with God as well. I didn’t believe that I was worthy of God’s grace and it was a never-ending battle to do enough to justify why He would love me.

But that is SO backwards. We cannot earn His love or His grace. It’s a free gift that has been given to us regardless of whether we choose to accept it and embrace it or not. I don’t have to perform...I don’t have to be perfect…I just have to be who I already am with all my flaws, my strengths, and weaknesses. His grace is sufficient for me in all of those things and it’s in acknowledging those moments of weakness and mess-ups in our lives that we can create real and transparent relationships with our sisters in Christ, not to mention that His power and glory SHINES!! (2 Cor. 12:9)

I offer up a challenge that I am taking myself.  When I find myself striving to please someone else, I need to stop, take a breath, and ask two questions.  1) Who am I seeking to please and why?  2) God, how can I please you in this situation?  In some ways it's an intentional choice to retrain my brain.  But if I can get into the habit of asking God to be the driving force behind each day, it will and is getting easier.